Practicality or Sportiness?

WARNING: AUTO CONTENT - CAR-PHOBIC INDIVIDUALS PLEASE LOOK AWAY


The opportunity of spotting an interesting vehicle, though rare, still comes by occasionally. And since my mum is usually the only passenger (or rather, driver - I'm only 16) in the car, I usually bore her with them (sorry).

However, my mum is a fan of Alfa Romeos, and her ultimate object of desire is nothing less than the absolutely beautiful Alfa 147.

So cue the Honda at a stoplight. Behind a blood-red Alfa Romeo 156 Sportwagon (or estate/station wagon, for those of you not in the know). Oh. My. God. It's. Pretty.

"That's a nice car," I remarked, masking the irresistible urge to drool all over.

Mum, however, shrugged.

"I'd never buy that."

I looked at her. Flabbergasted.

"That must be Alfa's company car," she added.

The look of sheer horror on my face immediately turned into one of total cluelessness.

She then explained that nobody should buy an Alfa estate, because Alfas are meant to be sporty and not practical, and anyone who goes out and buys one is a complete clot.

Slowly, I began to see where she was coming from, even though I protested that:

1. It's still sporty (I'm still drooling as I type).

2. Someone who wants an Alfa but needs space would have no choice but to buy, naturally, an Alfa estate. That way he/she could have an Alfa and carry the flat-pack furniture, something anyone with that much dough would doubtlessly buy a lot of.

But then I came to the part of a Porsche SUV (specifically, this lumpen, bulbous, gargantuan piece of utter shit the bods at Stuttgart call a Porsche), and at that moment the few shards of logic there was were shattered.

She actually said a Cayenne was a logical... thing for Porsche to build. A Porsche-badged smog-spewing, gas-guzzling, monster. One that looks like it had been in the middle of a 165-car pile-up and bolted back into shape by a person who can't differentiate his mouth from his arse.

I know people buy more of these than they buy iPods. But the fact remains that an SUV is far less "sporty" than an estate. It's
more space-consuming, drinks a hell of a lot of petrol yet is a million times slower, handles like a barge, spews more good-ol' carbon dioxide than a electrical powerplant, and looks utterly horrible. And it trumps the estate because it's the "in" thing? Gosh.

I know me and my mother disagree on a lot of things, but this takes the cake.

Like Jeremy Clarkson puts it, "It's not a bad car and in many respects it's a very good one, but just as no-alcohol lager defeats the objective, so does a Porsche off-roader. Can you imagine Land Rover producing a rear engined sports car? Exactly".

PlayStation Problem

This is annoying. My PlayStation 2 refuses to load the game I'd currently like to play, Need for Speed: Pro Street. I've been resetting the damn thing for the 284,565,374,343th time now, and it still wouldn't boot up. Instead, it barfs up the message, "Please insert PlayStation 2 or PlayStation format disc". Or something to that effect.

And you know what's more irritating? I've bought the game yesterday and after inserting the disc it loaded up on the first try.

It's frustration with a capital F.

In truth, this has been a thorn in the side of me for quite a while now, and I've gotten used to it. But the PS2 has apparently got a mind of its own and instead of working for me, it's chosen the absolute best moment to try and irritate me by acting up on me after SPM

And worse still, I can't open it up to clean the supposedly dirty laser. Well, I've popped open the top half, but stopping me from going further are four, microscopic screws. You know those? The ones with Phillips screw drives but are so shallow you can't put a screwdriver end into them? Yeah, those. I've got six precision screwdrivers lying by the side of my table and, yes, you guessed it, the ones that work are precisely...none of them. And it's not like they're screwed in half-heartedly, either - these are not so much screwed in as pummelled in and stamped on until the seal became so tight it could keep tectonic plates together.

At this point I've trying my very, very utmost best to resist a very, very strong urge to kick the PS2. Very, very hard.

Frankly, this unit has been under my custody for seven years now. But surely, Sony, out of all Japanese electronics manufacturers - let alone all electronics manufacturers, period - should make products that can survive an atomic blast. Instead, their products (at least the early PS2s - mine was one of the first) conk out at the first sight of dust. It's not like I didn't take care of it. Hell, I don't even travel with it anymore, since two of my cousins have similar ones (thank economies of scale for that). Which by the way, do work.

And worst of all, almost every single electronic product I own goes kaput after a while - my iPod, camera, etc. Why? Am I some sort of walking magnet for faulty gadgets? Does God hate me that much? Well, only He knows. I can only speculate.

You know what I wanna do now? Write to Sony's CEO a Christmas greeting card.

"I'm bored, irritated, angry, annoyed. Thanks very much, Sony. Merry Christmas."

EDIT 1: Finally got the right screwdriver for the job (RM10.50?!). Cleaned the laser using some alcohol. Slight scare with the ribbon cable connecting the on/off button to the motherboard, but UHU and co. sorted it out.

EDIT 2: That doesn't work either. Fuck it, I'm gonna watch Top Gear.

You know you're done with SPM when...

1. Your watch/phone/computer/whatever says it is the 26th November/whatever or later.

2. The last question paper you sat for is in your room/dustbin.

3. You're on a holiday.

4. You suddenly have time to blog.

5. You wake up and wonder why it's suddenly so hot. Then you pick up your watch and discover that it is, in fact, 3:00 in the afternoon.

6. Your eyes become bloodshot staring at the computer screen.

7. You spend more time outdoors than indoors. That is, of course, unless you spend everyday sitting in front of the TV/computer/PlayStation. In which you'd be on your knees, begging your parents in a desperate attempt to stay in.

8. After dinner, your mum doesn't ask you to study anymore. Instead, she asks you to clean the dishes.

9. You're suddenly aware of everything that is going on around you, instead of, say, memorising the cellular structure of an amoeba. Hell, it's not even "amoeba" anymore. It's Amoeba sp.

10. You've completely forgotten how to speak Malay.

It's a joke. Don't take it seriously.

Honey, I shrunk the PlayStation.

As you might know, the 15GB iPod I had been carrying for a few years has broken down on me for some time and I've been wanting a replacement ever since. However, current prices (I need at least the 8GB nano, and that costs RM829) are pretty steep, and replacing the conked hard drive is a no-no (expensive, replacements are hard to find).

Today, though, I decided I might not need a new iPod after all - the piano black PlayStation Portable my dad has been holding on to underused for a few years now (he has rich friends with benefits) might finally be passed down to me.

Now, at this point you might be thinking I'm overjoyed. And I am, sort of. I mean, which 16-year-old would not want a PSP? But I do have a few reservations:

1. I still don't get a properly large enough storage space. Nice as the PSP is, the 1GB Memory Stick PRO Duo that is in it at the moment is still woefully short of the space I need. There are two reasons why I need large storage space. One is the amount of music I carry, which is as near as makes no difference 2.5GB. And the last time I checked, 2.5GB > 1GB. Also, I've yet to free my mother's computer from the behemoth that is my stuff, as the only thing in my house that has a big enough storage space to store that stuff is my iPod, which, as should be apparent by now if you're reading, is currently a vegetable. Maybe the 8GB Memory Stick Sony sells at the moment could be enough. But that will sting me for RM499. Ouch.

2. At 170x74x23 mm, only the deepest of pockets will be able to accommodate the PSP. Still, if people can carry Nokia Communicators in their pockets...

So, as you can see, there are a few issues regarding the black beauty. Still, with video and WiFi capabilities, maybe life as a PSP owner isn't so bad after all. And of course, it's got what is effectively a PS2 squeezed into its svelte body, so it's no hardship. If only the PS2 I have actually starts working properly...

OMG.

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I'm free. XD

SPM Quickie #02

In the beginning, there were two years.

The two years became one.

Which in turn became six months.

Then, without warning, there was just one month.

Then one week.

Then one day.

Then it was the day itself.

The day after.

The week after.

And now we're on Friday, the 23rd of November. Just three days till the end of SPM, with only Biology in sight.

Time flies when you take SPM.