jonjwlee.blogspot.com

Long Live Life

2009-08-04T18:49:00.004+08:00

I know I said I wanted to write a review on an album that I just got, so here it is:

This is Coldplay's latest award-winning album (yes, I know, it's been out for a year already), entitled Viva la Vida or Death and All His Friends. It's their fourth studio album after 2005's brilliant X&Y. The band wiped the floor with the others at this year's Grammy Awards, nabbing seven nominations and walking off with three wins, including Best Rock Album and Song of the Year (for Viva la Vida).

So why does this particular copy have a different cover from the original (the one with Eugine Delacroix's Liberty Leading the People)? Because this is no ordinary Viva la Vida.

No, this is the deluxe version called the Prospekt's March Edition and includes the eponymous EP, which adds eight new tracks to the original ten.

The main album starts off strong with the lush instrumental track, Life in Technicolour (a complete version with the vocals is in the EP), leading into the dark Cemeteries of London. 42 is by far my favourite track of the album, with three parts - a deep, mysterious piano-and-strings opening, a brooding instrumental middle piece complete with fast-paced drumming and an uplifting final bit. And of course, who can forget Viva la Vida? The upbeat song about a former ruler reflecting his past glory always brings the spirits up on every listen. Violet Hill, on the other hand, brings the band a bit closer to its rock roots with the thunderous guitars. Bringing up the rear are Strawberry Swing and Death and All His Friends. Despite the ominous title of the latter, both these songs are joyous and rousing, a brilliant end to a glorious album.

The accompanying Prospekt's March EP complements Viva la Vida well, and they should - the songs on it were meant to go on the latter but were finished too late. Although there aren't many standout tracks apart from the fit-for-arena Glass of Water and the neat-but-ultimately-too-short piano piece Postcards from Far Away, they are a pleasant addition (apart from a slightly questionable and unnecessary rap section by Jay-Z on Lost+).

There are some minor problems, however. Although Chris Martin is an accomplished falsetto singer, his experimentation on singing in a lower pitch on some of the tracks, particularly on Yes shows that he is perhaps quite uncomfortable in that part of his vocal range. Also, sometimes his voice sounds muddled, almost like he's mumbling.

Still, it's hard not to like this album. It's so grandiose and atmospheric when it's at its best that you can't help but get carried away. Sure, some of the lyrics are downright gibberish, but who cares when the music's this good?

How to Buy a Present

2009-06-30T01:45:00.003+08:00

Today's my sister's birthday, so it's my family obligation to buy her a present. Now, I'm not exactly the best person at this sort of job, because first and foremost, I'm not a great observer - I never, ever keep track of people's likes and dislikes (which probably means I'd be the world's worst boyfriend, but I digress).

Which made the whole thing a bit of a nightmare. I mean, I know my sister is a bit of a fashionista, but what should I get her? A bag? Accessories? Clothes?

My head span for a while, until I got round it using simple logic. Now, I have to warn you again that I'm not exactly an expert at such things, but I do think these tips will help you the next time you're stuck in a mall looking for the right present.

The first thing a prospective buyer needs to get into his/her head is that you have to get something you wouldn't mind receiving yourself. Of course you also need to consider stuff such as gender and age, but you get what I mean. Do you think someone would be happy receiving a shoddy toy you paid a fiver for at Petaling Street? Would you? Exactly.

With that in mind, you then have to decide exactly what to buy. And one of the most popular gifts people get are clothes. Nice idea, you may think, but there's a caveat: never, EVER buy clothes unless you are absolutely sure of the person's size. Sure, some shops let you exchange clothes in case you've inevitably bought the wrong size, but it would be a complete waste of time, effort and most importantly during these times of environmental awareness, petrol. And even if you get past this hurdle, there's a problem.

I never liked people buying clothes for me, because they rarely ever get it right, even if they know me rather well. There's so many things to consider - the type of clothing, the style, the cut, the colours, the materials, etc. - that there's every chance you'd get one, maybe all of them wrong. To be honest, I'd rather give the recipient the money so that they can go shopping on their own (all this goes for shoes as well).

Another favourite is stuff such as snow globes and music boxes. Another no-no. The whole point of a present is for it to be used and appreciated. Those things are nice, I admit, but it's only a matter of time before they are assigned to the back of the shelf as dust-collecting fodder. Not the way you want your birthday present to be treated, is it?

If your recipient is a girl, you might be tempted to buy make-up and fragrances instead. Which brings me back to the point I made above. Yes, presents are supposed to be used, but they're also supposed to be a lasting reminder. Which is exactly what a disposable is not - the stuff eventually gets used up and the container is thrown away, never to be seen again.

So, you might be thinking, you'd probably be better off buying accessories (bangles, necklaces, the lot) for that girl. However, girls usually have drawers full of them, so unless you know EXACTLY what to get, your present would likely never see the light of day again. Ditto handbags.

Purses and wallets are relatively safe buys, as people usually go through them one at a time. They're especially safe when their current ones are showing some wear and tear. But like I've been stressing so many times on this article, know what your recipient likes. Don't make the classic mistake of buying a pink purse for a girl who hates pink.

Boys (or men who have the mental age of 6, like me) like to receive toys and electronics as gifts. But tread carefully - if you're getting a toy, get your facts right - their favourite action movie, cartoon, car or aeroplane. You don't want to get a 1/2-scale figurine of Superman for a Batman fan, do you?

As for gadgets, you need to know what sort of gizmo your recipient is looking for. An MP3 player is only cool to someone who hasn't already got one/is looking for one. Otherwise you'll run the risk of buying something that's inferior to what they've already got. And keep in mind that us boys can be quite fanatical about certain brands and reject anything that is even remotely related to other manufacturers - if I got Philbert a Sony Vaio, for instance, he'd be quite livid...

So there, those are my non-expert tips for anyone who's ever been stuck finding presents. Of course, I'm only talking about the usual here - if you wanna get someone a Ferrari 430 Scuderia, he/she would most likely be more than happy to have it. And if you have the time (which I didn't), consider making your own present - the recipient will really appreciate the time and effort you put into it. Last but not least, I hope this helps you like how it helped me, whoever you are. Good luck. And feel free to voice out in the comments whatever you disagree with.

Oh, and the present I bought for my sister? A white Vincci purse. She likes it, thank god. Thanks to Priya and Pui Yin for helping me choose the present!

That was when I ruled the world...

2009-06-03T00:11:00.001+08:00

Review coming soon.

2009-05-19T00:16:00.003+08:00

*kitty = kit lens

Yes, I've just returned from the Sony Service Centre with my trusty 18-70mm!

And the first miracle is, it's all covered under warranty. There was a brief misunderstanding about the computers not updated on the extra three months I should've got when I registered the camera, but other than that it was smooth sailing.

The second miracle is, the lens feels fantastic - tighter and smoother in operation, as though it has just made the trip off the assembly line. The Carl Zeiss can wait (and my wallet can relax).

The third miracle is, they've even found the time to replace the loose rubber grip!

So, satisfied, I went to KL for a class presentation. Got 2GB of RAM while i was there. Got back, disassembled my Mac. Ten minutes later, with the 'mini put together again and two RAM sticks slotted into place, I ran it for the first time.

Well, when I said "ran", what I should've said was "flew", because that was exactly what happened.

Having double the memory meant that tasks that were once a pain to deal with became a breeze. Photoshop? iPhoto? GarageBand? Pah! My rejuvenated Mac mini laughs in the face of all this pettiness.

And the best part? It cost less than RM100. Power to the economically-hampered!

"If you don't mend it, I'm gonna bone your dog."

2009-05-11T22:14:00.003+08:00

Back on the blog for a while.

You may remember, if you've actually been following this pathetic, lazily updated blog, that last year my well-used 18-70mm Sony kit lens had what can only be described as a nervous breakdown every time I put it on my DSLR. Then it got fixed. And now it's back.

Same symptoms: sticky focus ring, vibrates wildly when affixed to the camera. Already sent to Sony Centre at Mid Valley - its second visit in barely half a year. Hoping, no, praying it's still covered by the warranty.

This lens seems like it's on its last legs - doesn't feel as smooth, and the rubber grip has come loose. I can already see the Sony salesman trying to drag me towards his stash of Carl Zeiss.

This is gonna take a big chunk out of my MacBook Pro fund...

Things you can't take with your own DSLR.

2009-04-19T00:00:00.002+08:00

1. Your own DSLR.
2. Your entire lens collection.
3. All your memory cards.

P.S. I'm finally 18. Now stop telling me I'm underaged.

Never mind the bollocks.

2009-03-10T21:50:00.004+08:00

It's Malaysian Studies. Lecture was boring and full with absolute bullshit, as usual, made worse by a stand-in lecturer who sounds like he's constipated. Suddenly, a message rings in. It's Philbert.

"Just met Pei Hau. Damn ironic bugger went to Naza [exotic car showroom] yesterday. Saw this guy with two chicks walking out as he was walking in. Bugger looked familiar - was Razak Baginda. Bloody hell, blow up Altantuya and still can go buy car..."

I fired back.

"Ironically, I'm at a Malaysian Studies lecture. Or, more accurately, a BN propaganda event."

P.S. The race is on. Damn, she's gorgeous.

D for drive, N for neutral, R for reverse, P for panic.

2009-03-08T20:11:00.003+08:00

I hate parking.

I hate, hate, hate, hate, hate parallel parking.

Trying to place your car into a space barely big enough to fit it is bad enough. Add a big drop by the side (also known as a drain) or a curb and the experience is diabolical.

I can drive on the road almost well enough, but once I get to my destination and the only parking spots available are those of the parallel variety, panic sets in and I need help.

For one, I'm sitting on the right side of the car and about as far away from the parking bay as I can get without being outside the car, so judging distances is a Herculean effort all by itself. And then there's the problem with driving the car into the said parking bay.

You see, to be able to fit into the space available you have to turn left into the space ridiculously early. So you'll almost certainly whack into the car behind the space before you actually set a wheel into that space.

Then, still turning left, you have to drive ridiculously far in before turning right. Which means you'll almost certainly fall into the drain or clip the curb.

And then you have to actually turn right to fit into the space. Which means you'll almost certainly drive into the car in front.

And then you have to reverse to straighten the car. Which means you'll almost certainly back into the car you'd almost certainly have hit earlier.

And if, after all that, you still haven't fit in to the space (which is almost a certainty), you have to drive out to try again. And that almost certainly means you'd add another dent into the car in front. And so it goes on.

Of course, it's a bit easier if you reverse into the space. But of course, as this is Malaysia, by the time you've shifted into reverse, there'd almost certainly be a line of cars an inch behind your rear bumper. Which means you'd almost certainly reverse into the car behind.

Before I got my hands on a licence, I used to think that everyone should know how to park and those who don't are idiots. But now I know I was wrong. It's virtually impossible.

Left-hand politics.

2009-02-18T02:25:00.002+08:00

I know this sounds weird, coming from someone from both sides of the fence, but I really do think left-handers are like Mac users, in the sense that they think that they're unique and better than everybody else.

Now, before anybody from both camps pelt me with food, think about it. Lefties always extol the virtues of being a left-hander, like being smarter and more artistic. But you never see a right-hander boasting about being more logical, do you?

Likewise, a typical Mac user utilises every opportunity available to talk about how their aesthetically-pleasing machines run faster and more efficiently than an equivalent PC, whereas Windows users...wait, there are no redeeming features for Windows.

Mac users and left-handers are also similar in other ways. For instance, you always see lefties go looking around in class for other people writing with the same hand (I'm afraid I do that sometimes) the same way someone with an iMac looks around at Starbucks for people carrying MacBook Pros.

These characteristics can be shared with people of/with other things as well. In fact, I wouldn't be at all surprised if 95% of the world's left-handed people are also either Mac users, DSLR photographers, Citroën drivers, artists, French or various combinations of all of the above.

Shittyx, part deux.

2009-02-05T05:08:00.002+08:00

Just to show anyone bothering to read this how monumentally frustrated I am of Streamyx, I've came back to rant.

Streamyx is literally the most hopeless, most unreliable piece of technology I've ever had the misfortune to pay for. The iPod comes close in reliability - that thing broke after just three years - but at least it was fun while it lasted. All Streamyx does, on the other hand, is give constant headache.

What's so hard about giving us perfectly decent broadband service? It's not like we're asking for supersonic download speeds - just make it simple, reliable and adequately quick. And yet somehow, the thick people at Menara TM (they couldn't even design the building by themselves and ended up with a Burj Al Arab rip-off) could screw it up.

We should all sue them for fraud. After all, Streamyx isn't cheap.

Tagged. Again.

2009-02-05T00:52:00.003+08:00

This was off Philbert's blog.

Does it matter to you if your boyfriend or girlfriend smoke?
Very much. I don't give an inkling if friends smoke (and trust me, a lot of my friends from Limkokwing do), but as far as a girlfriend is concerned, it's all a bit...meh.

How about drinking?
That's not a problem. As long as she's not Amy Winehouse alcoholic.

Do you like someone you can't have?
I did. Who hasn't?

If someone liked you right now, would you want them to tell you?
Yup. Because it never works the other way round.

What's your favourite sport?
Like Philbert, Formula One. Kimi Räikkönen really needs to wipe the smug smile off Lewis Hamilton's prepubescent face this year.

Its Saturday night, and you're home alone... what do you do?
Threesome. Nah, joking.

Do you like roller coasters?
Haven't been on one. Seriously. Does that count as a no?

When's the perfect time to have a bf/gf?
When you can juggle work and play.

If you could date any celebrity, who would it be?
What do you mean by "celebrity"?

What are you doing this weekend?
Going out with a friend from primary who's about to leave to Australia.

What is your favourite restaurant?
I've no favourite. I love all food too much.

Have you ever hugged someone?
Yes.

Ever kissed someone you weren't attracted to?
No.

Do you like anyone right now?
Um, yes and no. Take it however you like.

What is the first thing you notice about the opposite sex?
Looks. I'm a shallow person, to be honest. Philbert says it's "the whole picture", but he also told me once that he looks at girls directly where his eye level is, i.e. lower.

Which do you prefer, Beach or Mountains?
Mountains. The beach doesn't really do it for me, somehow. Probably because all the sand goes straight into your pants.

What kind of phone do you have?
My bargain-fodder Sony Ericsson W200i. As far as Sony Ericssons go, it's positively cheap.

Computer or Laptop?
Got a desktop, want a laptop. That MacBook Pro...

Jeans or Sweats?
Jeans.

Which year(s) has/have been the best so far?
1991. Because I was born then.

How old are you gonna be on your next birthday?
Legal age.

What should you be doing right now?
Sleeping.

What is your favourite TV show?
A draw. In the American corner, we have Emmy-winning medical drama House (whose titular character is played, ironically, by a Brit). In the Brit corner, we have Emmy-winning motoring show Top Gear. Both epic shows.

What's been your last purchase?
Converse clothes.

Are you attracted to girls/boys that smoke?
I can understand why people do it, but apart from that, no.

Have you ever fallen on your butt in front of a crowd of people?
Not yet.

What do you do when you're at home?
Computer, video games, eat, shit, sleep.

What is your favourite subject?
Hard to consider, since all of them revolve around the art of drawing. Probably Analytical Drawing. But hey, there's Photography coming...

What's the best thing that's ever happened to you?
I dunno. When was the last time I got a toy/gadget?

Tagging:
Everyone.

Shittyx.

2009-02-04T22:56:00.003+08:00

Streamyx - for me, anyway - is stupidly, hopelessly tepid.

You know, there was a time in the not-too-distant past when Streamyx was a moderately adequate broadband service.

Now, it's so slow that the bandwidth can only be described as one-way-street narrow.

What an utter waste of precious, hard-earned money.

Every month my family pays RM66 to the overlords of telecom service that is TM and what do I get?

Frequent disconnections.

Painfully slow loads.

And - this is what really irritates me - MSN constantly bouncing back messages that I've sent.

Every time I use MSN there's bound to be a slew of "The message cannot be sent because a timeout/connection error has occured". Which is deeply annoying when you're engaged in a conversation.

Seriously, the only reason I'm not rushing to plug that phone line straight to the Mac mini is that it doesn't support dial-up.

I really do hope that in this economic recession TM will be hit by such a shitstorm of debts, corruption, mismanagement, complaints and loss of customers that even government bailouts can't save it from being steamrolled into the depths of bankruptcy.

And that, while trying to bailout all the struggling companies, the government itself will go under.

And that, without the money that they can sneak so easily from under the table, the corrupt politicians and businessmen in the country will all go wither and die a painfully poor death.

Which would give me a really good reason to switch to some other broadband service.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm on a phone call to TM. Because I know that ain't happening.

Scuderia Fisher-Price

2009-01-16T06:16:00.004+08:00

Have you seen Ferrari's new F60? No, it's not a replacement for its Enzo flagship but rather, its latest in a long line (make that 60 years long, hence the name) of Formula One contenders. And certainly when you look at it, the words that flow through your mind are less "world-class racing" and more "Fisher-Price"...

Like a few people who've seen it, I initially thought that this would be a look that we would eventually get used to. But after a few days, some thought and the subsequent launch of Toyota's own TF109...

...my opinion changed.

This year's crop of cars will never look "right".

Some people may argue that with every rule change - and it's always the rules that dictate the shape of the car - there's always a certain time before a car's new look becomes comfortable to look at. But in the past, no matter how revolutionary the changes were, all the cars had a certain rightness in their proportions.

Take, for instance, an F1 car from last year (like this BMW Sauber, and spamming my own blog with my photo in the process)...

...and one from, say, 1950 (like this, Nino Farina's championship-winning Alfa Romeo)...

The two of these cars couldn't be more disparate, yet they are both pretty in their own right. One, heavily-bespoilered yet somehow sleek; the other - devoid of any aerodynamic devices - elegant and pure. And most importantly, both look proportionate.

Which is more than can be said of this year's cars. The huge new front wings make the cars (despite undoubtedly occupying the same footprint as their predecessors) look small, almost go-kart-like - a look exacerbated by the narrow-yet-tall rear wings.

True, these changes are due to new rules designed to make races more interesting (the new wings are said to encourage overtaking), but surely there are better solutions out there. I mean, '90s racing was close, and they didn't have to resort to this...

But one thing's for sure - with all these new rules and regulations - and the teams struggling to cope with them - this season is shaping up to be a good one. Who knows, maybe these new appendages do work after all.

Oh, and by the way, Ferrari, lose the spinners/wheel covers. Yes, they're there for aerodynamic reasons, but nothing says 'cheap' like hubcaps on a US$25m car.

2008-11-01T15:25:00.002+08:00

WTF. Was doing some stuff on the computer the other day, heard a loud commotion. Ran out, and sitting there on that old crappy coffee table, like some space-age battleship that had just landed on some cornfield, was my new housemate's black PS3. Metal Gear Solid 4 was awesome.

Still no update on the camera. Got a new pair of shoes to replace my outgrown and outworn Adidas, though. Converse, black, low-cut, RM95.90.

Me against the gadgets

2008-10-25T22:04:00.012+08:00

I've come out - briefly - from my blogging hiatus to vent my frustration.

The month of October 2008 should really be called the month of the fragile gadgets.

It all started when my new Sony Ericsson W200i (which hasn't even racked up two months of service, I should say) started having problems. After syncing with my computer one day, every file on the Memory Stick goes corrupt, necessitating a reformatting of the card. This became increasingly frequent and, thinking it was a problem with the Memory Stick, I upgraded to a 2GB card and bought a card reader to minimise the risk of file corruption while connecting and disconnecting from the computer. Then a new problem emerged - the phone started to have difficulties playing M4A audio files.

It would be able to play a number of files of this type in succession, then flag up a "playback failed" message. Switching to an MP3 file and back would cure the problem, but only for a short while before every file - M4A, MP3, even theme files - becomes unreadable and the phone has to be restarted. And then the cycle repeats itself. Doing a master reset on the phone has no effect whatsoever.

To rub salt in the wound, just last Monday, while trying to add pictures into the phone to bring to the school's print shop (I don't have a pen drive, see) both the phone's USB cable AND that stupid cheapo card reader I just bought cease to function properly. But the biggest, most important and possibly the most expensive failure came later that day.

While using my beloved Sony A200 camera, the 18-70mm lens had a tendency to get stuck while focussing. Perplexed, I switched to manual focus mode and rotated the focussing ring to try to free it up a bit, then flicked it back to auto focus. Without warning, the camera vibrated so violently that I had to switch it off to prevent anything else from breaking. Clearly, something was broken in the lens.

Annoyingly and disturbingly, three of the four products mentioned were Sony products.

So today, I brought the phone to the dealer who sold it to me to claim warranty. Idiotic salesman argued that AAC (which Sony Ericsson says the phone can support) and M4A files are two different formats and insisted the I had put in files of the wrong format. He is wrong - AAC is the encoding scheme for audio files, M4A is the file created from this scheme.

Whatever. I'll ask the Sony technicians when I bring the lens (which I seriously hope would be covered under warranty) to the service centre another day (it isn't open on weekends). Until then I'll continue to be worried - the month isn't over yet, and I've still got one working Sony product left (the PSP).

Fingers crossed.

P.S. Pictures of Limkokwing University of Creative Technology's kolam project at Pavilion Kuala Lumpur are now up on Facebook. Check them out.

UPDATE: Checked across forums and it turns out that the playback problem for M4A files is a known bug. Which is depressing - was hoping to take advantage from the higher sound quality of this format compared to MP3s. Ah, well, shit happens.

Walking Disaster

2008-08-17T00:47:00.004+08:00

The rules of this tag are relatively simple:
1. Put whatever music player you're listening to (iPod, iTunes, Windows Media Player, etc.) into shuffle mode.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. Type out the song title, no matter how incredibly ridiculous it sounds.
4. Put any comments in brackets after the song title.

1. If someone says, "Is this okay?" You say?
Infernal Dance of King Kastchei from The Firebrid Suite (1919) - Igor Stravinsky
(My brain cannot imagine the look on that someone's face when I say that.)

2. How would you describe yourself?
Be At Home - Isamu Ohira
(Um, because I actually am at home?)

3. What do you like in a girl?
Hold On - KT Tunstall
(Yeah, sorry, I still haven't decided...)

4. How do you feel today?
Fake Tales of San Francisco - Arctic Monkeys
(Whud?)

5.What is your life's purpose?
The Devil in the Wishing Well - Five for Fighting
(Yes, my life's purpose is to be red, have horns, have a particular liking towards the numbers 666 and sit in a wishing well. Yeah.)

6. What is your motto?
Underclass Hero - Sum 41
(Uh huh.)

7. What do your friends think of you?
Jeux de Vagues from La Mer - Claude Debussy
(Which, according to my translator widget, is "Sets of Waves from the Sea". Riiight...)

8. What do you think of your parents?
One and Only - Timberland featuring Fall Out Boy
(Yes, you are. Love you.)

9. What do you think about very often?
Love Song - Sara Bareilles
(Okay, I don't do that. Honest.)

10. What is 2 + 2?
4 Minutes (feat. Justin Timberlake and Timbaland) - Madonna
(Partly correct, but what in the name of all that's holy is this song doing here?)

11. What do you think of your best friend?
What If - Coldplay
(What if... you were less of an opinionated bastard. You know who you are.)

12. What do you think of the person you like?
Me, You and My Medication - Boys Like Girls
(My medication, kononnya...)

13.What is your life story?
Auto Rock - Mogwai
(*acts confused*)

14. What do you want to be when you grow up?
The Angry Mob - Kaiser Chiefs
(We are the angry mob, we read the papers everyday, we like who we like, we hate who we hate, but we're all so easily swayed...)

15. What do you think of when you see the person you like?
Sweetness - Jimmy Eat World
(Oh, yes.)

16.What will you dance to at your wedding?
Kiss You Goodbye - The BAD
('the f*ck?)

17.What will they play at your funeral?
Everybody's Changing - Keane
(When we die, we change. From a house to a coffin.)

18.What is your hobby/interest?
The Carpal Tunnel of Love - Fall Out Boy
(Pfft.)

19.What is your biggest fear?
On Top of The World - Boys Like Girls
(Which is sorta true, actually - I'm a bit acrophobic.)

20.What is your biggest secret?
Pastorale from L'Arlésienne (Suite 2 No. 1) - Georges Bizet
(Er...)

21.What do you think of your friends
This Ain't a Scene, It's an Arm's Race - Fall Out Boy
(Yes, all my friends are engaged in an arms race...)

22. What will you post this as?
Walking Disaster - Sum 41

Well, that's about it. I'm tagging Philbert. Can't wait to see how he answers, with his MacBook full of Chopin.

2008-08-11T18:49:00.005+08:00

I'm quite a big fan of the British motoring magazine, Top Gear. Sure, it's not the most detailed magazine of all, but its blend of stunning photography, great graphics and witty writing makes it excellent reading material (and of course, who can forget the great Jeremy Clarkson, who has his own column in it). So when I heard that someone was going to create a Malaysian version of it last year, I couldn't wait. Then that someone turned out to be Donald Cheah...

Before Top Gear Malaysia, Donald was the usual Malaysian motoring mag editor - average, and frankly very dull. But when such a big name came to his hands he obviously had to do something to stand out from the crowd. And he did.

As a result, TGM isn't so much a motoring mag as a men's mag with a few car reviews in it. Of course, quite a bit of what makes the original great is still in it, but the rest is a total letdown.

Let's start with the adverts. Normally, this wouldn't be an issue, but in TGM there's so many of them that it simply becomes annoying. Yes, the original also relies heavily on ads, but at least they were car ads. Flip through a copy of TGM, on the other hand, and all you see are watches... watches... more watches... men's clothing... men's fragrances... men's undies (!)... even more watches...

Then there's a problem with a section of Top Gear called - creatively enough - Top Gear. This is one of the more likable sections in the original as it is essentially a collection of really, really cool automobile-related merchandise (like watches, jackets, toys and the like), complete with great (and sometimes hilarious) descriptions. In the Malaysian edition, however, the entire collection is replaced with - you guessed it - men's stuff. Clothes, fragrances, phones, computers, belts, ties, wallets, briefcases, pens, cufflinks, rings, teddy bears (eh?) - you name it, they have it, the list goes on. Even more annoyingly though, almost all of them have absolutely zilch to do with cars. And just to make the section even less appealing, the descriptions look to have been written by a ten-year-old one afternoon.

Amazingly, you think, they've left out the watches. You let out a huge sigh of relief, only to turn a few pages and find out that Donald Duck really did have a watch fetish after all.

THERE'S AN ENTIRE SECTION DEVOTED TO WATCHES.

OH MY GOD.

YOU CAN'T BE BLOODY SERIOUS. YOU JUST CAN'T.

Yes, it's only a small section. Yes, I was overreacting. But Donald, this is a car magazine! Stop diluting it! You're only gonna make it worse! If I was in the market for a watch I'd have gotten a men's mag instead so please, STOP IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTT!!!

And then things get really bad. They loped-off the Lifers (i.e. long-termers) section. For those not familiar with the concept of long-term testing, it's basically about a group of the staff of the magazine (writers, photographers, editors, etc.) who are each given cars to live with for a long period of time (usually a year) and asked to write on their thoughts of their cars every month. It's a great concept, since it tests things (like reliability and customer service) that usually cannot be evaluated in a usual, short review. But obviously, the Malaysian team must have decided that, since local car companies would never loan cars for that long a time and that the Brits only test foreign cars in their own country's conditions, it doesn't deserve a place in the mag. And that is a great shame.

If you've seen all that and still want to read the Malaysian-made articles, do proceed with caution. Because there are problems there too.

I'll start with the pictures. Phtography in Malaysian car mags are usually well below par. TGM improves upon this, but it still lags horribly behind Getacar, which is easily the local magazine with the best photography.

Then there's Donald Cheah's writing. It's typical of most local scribes - boring. He does improve upon arriving at TGM, but it's still a bit anodyne.

That wouldn't be so bad if he had a team of much better writers to back him up. But the only other writer in his stable is Ben Tan and to be honest, he's even worse. Much, much worse. Reading his articles is a bit like watching a Windows computer start up.

It truly is page after page of eye-drying boredom.

And this leads to the crux of the problem with TGM. Most publications can get away with monotonous writing because the foreign magazines they're based on aren't really known for their bunch of entertaining writers. But Top Gear UK is, and this is where the local team falls the hardest.

And they still make mistakes that should never happen. I'd like to direct this one in particular to Ben Tan - how incredibly stupid can your Mathematics teacher be before he/she can make you think that a RM69,888 Suzuki Swift "easily undercuts" a RM65k Proton Waja?

Last but not least, there's parent company Astro's approach to censorship. Yes, Top Gear isn't the magazine out there with the cleanest language and sure, there's the obvious stuff to asterisk. But just to show how narrow-minded they are, turn to the last page. This is the Campaign for Real Racing Drivers section. On the original, there's a badge that says, "Sex: Breakfast of Champions" on the top left. They removed it from the Malaysian version. Enough said.

2008-08-03T16:24:00.002+08:00

Learning to drive a car with a manual transmission is scary.

In an auto car, you only have to deal with the steering, brakes, accelerator and the world around you. Throw into the mix a clutch and five gears (including reverse) you have to row yourself, however, and it becomes a one-ton, 40 km/h juggling game. And while you're busy dealing with all that, you also have to put up with a particularly irritable instructor who speaks in a language you're not familiar with.

And you have to do all that without stalling (at the lights) or crashing (everywhere else).

The Petrol Dilemma.

2008-07-15T00:00:00.005+08:00

Ah, yes. Petrol. What's a Malaysian blog without a post on the now-infamous price hike?

Some people have been whingeing about fuel prices since their cars started running on the stuff. They put all the blame on the government for letting it burn a massive black hole in their pockets. My advice to them is to just stop the nonsense and get on with it.

It's not like the price of fuel has sat on a finely-tuned balance in the previous years. If you would just cast your mind not too far back, they hiked the price by 30 sen barely two years ago and 10 sen twice the year before. You may think, sure, this is nothing compared to 80 sen the petrol station now asks extra for, but bear in mind that world oil prices increased twofold since 2006. Plus, the last time I checked, not a sen was added to the proce of petrol last year, which was an attempt by the government to "protect the people".

Also do remember that despite the exponential hike, we still enjoy one of the cheapest fuel prices in the region (I said "one of" because Brunei takes the cake - but more on that later). You only need to see how the Thais are still trying ever-so-cunningly to smuggle our petrol to see my point.

But no, said the detractors. They said we should only compare our fuel prices to countries that actually produce oil. So they put up a chart comparing petrol prices... to countries in the Middle East.

What, to use a more euphemistic phrase, on the face of the Earth, the Solar System, the Milky Way and the Universe combined were they thinking? The oil we make compared to any one of these countries is literally a drop in the South China Sea. Let's look at the evidence - even United Arab Emirates, the country with the most expensive petrol of the list, makes about 2,500,000 barrels a day. Take a guess, if you will, how much we make in comparison.

1,500,000? 1,000,000? No. 800,000 barrels a day. No wonder our petrol costs twice as much.

And besides, if we did make anywhere near that amount of oil we'd all be obscenely wealthy and drive chrome Ferraris and Burberry Maseratis. Would you really want to see stuff like that? Really?

Ah, but the more discerning of you would point me towards Brunei. Compared to Malaysia, they make a drop in the bucket - 200,000 barrels a day - yet they are still able to peg the price of petrol at RM1.22 a litre. The reason? Simple. Brunei's size and population is also a drop in the bucket compared to Malaysia.

Larger land + Higher population = More money spent on the people + More money spent on development + More money spent on corruption. The end.

And why is every father, mother and son making Petronas a scapegoat for everything? It's not like they're the petrol overlords and are able to change prices at will. Blaming them for the rise is like blaming Maybank for the decrease in value of the Ringgit.

But what really pisses me off was when people started putting the blame on Petronas' expenditures. There was an article in The Star that talks about the exact same thing and I agree with everything he/she said. Take, for instance, the Malaysian Philharmonic Orchestra. This drew a lot of ire from some members of the public because the members are mostly foreigners and that it was a waste of money. Right. And who do you want to see playing instead, a bunch of ill-advised locales who can't even differentiate between a violin and a cello?

People seem to be forgetting that the foreigners are only here to lead the way for Malaysian musicians to join the orchestra. Petronas should really be commended for reigniting interest in classical music, a genre that is fading fast in the face of sometimes awful modern music. And what about the Youth Orchestra, which I think I'm right in saying is all-Malaysian? Is letting young local talent show their skills to the world a waste of money?

And then there's the problem with their involvement in Formula One. You might think that it's unreasonable that we should be paying more for our petrol whilst they're out feeding some very thirsty race cars to go basically round and round a set path. But come on. State-owned it may be, but Petronas is still, to all intents and purposes, a profit-driven business. And what a better way to bring more customers to their fold than to sponsor a seriously competitive race team (BMW) in what is arguably the highest-profile motorsport championship in the world?

And don't go on blathering about the fact that there aren't any Malaysian drivers in the team. Petronas sponsors fuel, not drivers. Yes, BMW's presence in Malaysia has skyrocketed since the takeover of Sauber (in which Petronas was a team partner). And yes, BMW has given opportunities for local talent to enter the world of motorsports with Formula BMW and so on. But the choice of top-flight drivers is still BMW's. Which is a German company. Michael Schumacher or Alex Yoong? Exactly.

So while you can knock the Government for many different things, fuel prices aren't one of them. Yes, they are getting expensive, but they're not unbearable. So please, move on. There are much better things to focus on.

Like spending some of that subsidy money on the stupid bus system.

A few weeks back, I've started working again. Well, it's not actually a job. Basically, my dad has persuaded his friend to let me learn and do some stuff at his design studio for a couple of months before I head off to Lim Kok Wing on the 28th. The problem is, the studio is at the other end of the world - Subang.

That meant that due to the rise in fuel prices, my mother wouldn't send me all the way. For the best car-to-bus ratio, she decided that I'd be dropped off at the crossing point between Jalan Gasing and Jalan Universiti. But that still means I had to take two buses en route to the studio.

So just imagine what it was like for me, then still an amateur public transport rider, the first time I had to take a bus there. The first bus got me to the bus stop at Subang Perdana. Pretty uneventful. So I was thinking the second local bus would be the same. So I waited.

And waited...

The longer I waited, the more agonising it became. The sun was rising, heating the place like some oven that was permanently stuck at the maximum setting. But the bus, however late I was for "work", wouldn't come.

Honestly, more planes flew by than there were buses. So I got fed up and decided to walk.

And promptly got lost in the process.

In the end, tired and furiously late, I hauled a taxi. Which cheated me of my tenner.

Turns out I waited at a bus stop which the bus doesn't stop at, even though it was supposed to. And you know what annoyed me most of all? The "proper" bus stop turned out to be just a few feet away from where I was swearing profusely from.

Bus services are a nightmare in this part of the world. You are more likely to contract polio after being vaccinated than to get to your destination on time in a bus.

And the problem is actually not punctuality - because the buses always arrive at a set time. I've checked the tickets from previous journeys and it turns out that most of them arrive within 5 minutes of each other every morning.

No, no. What is the problem is the frequencies of the buses. A half-hour wait between buses is the norm on normal routes. And it's even worse on local shuttle routes, because there's only one bus per route. And they're so irregular - you can wait hours for the next bus only to find that the one after that is literally behind it.

What we need are more buses. And the worst thing is, instead of fixing something genuinely wrong with the public transport system, the government has decided to spend all its subsidy money on the one link in the rusty chain that isn't in dire need of repair - the rail transport.

That's the problem with the mentality of the truly abysmal ignoramuses at the helm of the government today. The Japanese would acknowledge a fault and mend it. The Singaporeans would acknowledge a fault and mend it. The Malaysians? They will deny the fault outright and will remain ignorant until a significant percentage of the population comes knocking on the doors with guns and swords. And even then they'll only do the easiest, most idiotproof work, then skive off and, oh, I dunno, insult Indians.

It's like a Titanic. You use all the effort in the world to try to manoeuvre the ship away from the iceberg, only to realise, slumped on the floor, that you're still heading towards the iceberg.

And then there's the problem with the bus drivers. Has anyone seen how arrogant and ignorant can they be? How can they possibly expect everyone, especially foreigners, to bring exact change everywhere they go? Show them anything other than the right amount and they'd act as if you'd just mentioned some unutterable two-syllable, four-lettered word. And nobody dares argue because they'd otherwise be stuffed into a hospital with blood coming out of every orifice.

And - this is what pisses me off - why the hell do they ever so often "forget" to turn on their electronic signboards? They're there for a reason, you know.

They may argue that there's no need to have the electronic signboard because you can read the plastic one below it. They are wrong. How can you expect someone like me, who's a bit dopey and has poor eyesight, to read some text printed on a panel the size of a postcard 500 million metres away? And no, I can't wait for the bus to come closer. Any nearer and the driver will pretend to not see me and speed off to oblivion.

And why, oh why do they stop for so long at the end of the route? It's okay is the route is quite a long one, where the drivers need to rest. But come on, the local shuttle route? Which is usually less than 10km? And it's not like they're actually resting - all they do is chat up the passengers and some bloke who comes and writes on paper. They should have this cast iron plate blocking the driver from the rest of the bus. Then watch them whine about exact change.

And last but not least, who the fuck decided to put up the route map of a bus that DOESN'T STOP THERE?

All this rambling brings us down to a question. Why can't we - the people who made the world's longest heated box made of chicken wire that can also be used to cook fish, remember - make a half-decent public transport system? In Japan - where people can't be bothered to actually cook their fish - the average delay of a train is six seconds. For them, a late train is anything over a minute late, by which time people get to ride the train for free. And if they're five minutes late, they get a verbal apology from the conductor and a delay certificate to explain to their employees why they were late for their morning exercise.

Now I will admit that it was a pretty exaggerated example. But even if we were able to do 0.005% of what the Japanese did, we'd end up with a system miles away from what the cocks at RapidKL have done.

So there we are. I spent all of my time trying to get everyone to stop blaming the government about the fuel prices. Only to be pissed off by the government like everyone else.

Damnit.

2008-06-04T21:46:00.010+08:00

This is what I had to deal with last week. A tectonic-plate-slow Streamyx and a kaput WiFi. It's infuriating, to be honest, to try to use a computer without any sort of Internet connection whatsoever. I've lost count on the number of time I've forgotten this fact and opened Safari (Apple's standard Internet browser) only to be slapped in the face with the message "Safari can't open the page...blah blah blah". A call to TM had them sort out (i.e. make marginally less slow) the connection speed, but trying to massage the white Netgear wireless router to actually communicate with the Mac proved more time consuming.

Lots of prodding and browsing the manual diagnosed the problem - the router was inadvertently reset, deleting all the information needed to connect to the Internet. On Netgear routers, this information would have to be put back before wireless connectivity would be re-enabled. A few minutes of typing in the ISP details and putting up with a dependable-if-predictably-slow 5-year-old Dell and wireless internet was for everyone in the house to enjoy. I was understandably proud, to say the least. Bill Gates, eat your heart out.

Now, if you know me you might think I'm only interested in cars. Well, you're damn right. And obviously, being a car addict and just turned 17 I wanted to get a driving license. So two weeks ago I went for the Driver's Education Curriculum class in Nilai. This is a mandatory 5-hour course that is basically a prep for the theory exam. As expected, it covers everything from road signs to accident factors to demerit points. What I didn't expect, however, was the lecturer who goes by the name of Victor. While effective at teaching, he was an oddball, a Mr Thong of sorts. I mean, he started the class by introducing not only himself, but the rest of his family as well. And being from a race that originated from the land of Bollywood, his verbal and body language was nothing if not dramatic. He is, in short, a bit scary. If you see him as your lecturer, run.

A week after that decidedly haunting experience, I decided to put everything Victor taught me to the test. Literally. Because I had to go to Kinrara to sit for the theory exam. An objective paper (well, not exactly "paper", since the whole thing is computerised), it consisted of 50 questions divided into three parts. The first 15 questions are all about road signs, while the next 25 questions tested driving skills and ethics. The final 10 questions, on the other hand, ask about stress and the highway code, including driving licenses and demerit points. The best thing is, every one of those questions is a random selection from 500 preset questions. And they're all in a book that would be given to you. Together with all the answers.

Simple, you may think. I thought so too. Until a slight distraction in the form of my 10-year-old cousin staying overnight meant that even after all my efforts, I still couldn't finish studying for the test the night before. Under-prepared is an understatement.

So I arrived at Kinrara at about 8:30 (after hastily studying on the way there), expecting the whole issue to be done rather quickly. It turned out not to be.

You may have waited in a government building before. You might even think you feel my pain. But I'm afraid not. Yes, waiting in the government building is always an excruciatingly long process, but waiting in a government building for an exam? Frankly, I'd rather have done the exam in the Samad toilet. And there was no use to study - for me, the more I try to study at school on exam day, the more I forget. To make matters worse, I didn't carry my PSP with me. And I got a really bad cold. Enough said.

So, bored, irritated, unprepared and suffering from an increasingly leaky nose, I was finally let into the exam room at 10:30, worried that I'd actually flunk it.

And promptly came out again.

Soon afterwards, the blokes at the desk produced the results slip (very SPM-ish, no?). It read like this:

SEKSYEN A: 13/15

SEKSYEN B: 25/25

SEKSYEN C: 10/10

JUMLAH MARKAH: 48/50

MARKAH LULUS 42/50

Best of all though, was the time taken: 10 minutes 23 seconds. Sticking to the motoring theme of this post, that means that in around the time it takes for Jeremy Clarkson to complete a full lap around the Nürburgring Nordschleife in a Jaguar S-Type (diesel, granted), I did 50 questions. That's even faster than EST.

Yes, I didn't get full score, but hell, I was happy.

With the result in the bag, I took the next step towards obtaining a license, which was to attend a workshop. Another mandatory course, it is split into two sessions - a three-hour theory (indoor) session and a three-hour practical (outdoor) one. The first session is similar to the first class I attended, but focused more on driving. But of course, being the JPJ, we had to wait. Again. This time though, I learnt my lesson and carried my PSP with me, so it wasn't so bad.

After quite a while they finally sent out an lecturer. And of course, being in the JPJ, he was Malay. What was funny, though, was the jacket he was wearing. It was black, with a JPJ insignia on one side. And on the other (like as if they'd sponsor them) was a cheap Nike iron-on badge. I had to twist my face to stop laughing it off.

Fake badges aside though, he was at least relatively funny, and much better than Victor. Even going so far as to make fun of his name, Hamdan. Which, in Cantonese is - of course - salted egg.

After this, it was time for the practical. No, I haven't been able to drive a car yet. At least legally. Anyway, this session was just to show the various parts of the engine bay, as well as to demonstrate changing tyres, using an actual Kancil as a volunteer. However, the bloke who taught us, Zul, forbid us blokes from participating in the session and relegated us to the seats instead, because it would be "too easy for the guys". So he let the girls participate.

Now that would be fine if they were actually smart. Instead, we had to sit there in frustration as the they tried to differentiate between a radiator and an oil dipstick (bearing in mind this was all taught just a few hours ago during theory). At least we got to choose which girl to embarrass.

Still, it all went well. After yet more waiting, we were let home. Now that I'm waiting for my L license, the next stage is, of course, driving. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll be using the internet. Wireless broadband is fantastic, isn't it?

Tagged again?

2008-05-23T19:17:00.003+08:00

I've recently been tagged by Philbert. It's called "Three Things". I don't think I need to do an introduction - the title itself says it all.

Three things that scare me.
i) That bloke who taught me the Driver's Education Curriculum. His many parrot-esque "MARI!!!"s are enough to haunt you for endless nights. Nice guy, though. Just...odd.
ii) Cockroaches
iii) That Astro woman. Her voice borders on psychosis-inducing.

Three people who make me laugh.
i) Philbert. One part insensitive berk, two parts pervert, ten parts brilliance.
ii) Top Gear. I know, but putting Clarkson, Hammond and May individually on the list would've filled it up. Besides, they're at their funniest when they're with each other.
iii) Lee Mack. Top-shelf comedian. Go search YouTube.

Three things I love.
i) Cars.
ii) Photography (Yes, I finally have my DSLR!).
iii) My Mac. Yes, my answers are the same as Philbert's. Shut up.

Three things I hate.
i) Horrible advertisements.
ii) Broken language on signs.
iii) That Astro woman.

Three things I don't understand.
i) Additional Mathematics.
ii) Hokkien dramas.
iii) Girls.

Three things currently on my desk.
i) My Mac mini.
ii) My PSP.
iii) My Sony α200.

Three things I'm doing right now.
i) Chatting with Philbert.
ii) Wondering why BMW always has such pretty receptionists at their functions.
iii) Studying for the theory driving test.

Three things I want to do before I die.
i) Go to London to be on the set of Top Gear.
ii) Have a really nice car. Preferably an Aston Martin.
iii) Be a designer.

Three things I can do.
i) Draw.
ii) Take pictures.
iii) Play a piano (vaguely).

Three things I can't do.
i) Play a violin.
ii) Do ballet.
iii) Get 11A's in SPM.

Three things I think you should listen to.
i) Rachmaninov's Prelude in C-Sharp Minor.
ii) Dr. Gregory House.
iii) Your parents.

Three things you should never listen to.
i) Me.
ii) The Government. I second Philbert on this.
iii) That Astro woman.

Three things I’d like to learn.
i) Play a piano. Properly.
ii) Driving (I will be, soon).
iii) Italian.

Three favourite food.
i) Beef noodles.
ii) Grilled Chicken Foldover.
iii) Two all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a sesame seed bun.

Beverages I drink regularly.
i) Water.
ii) Kickapoo.
iii) Yogurt drink.

Three shows I watched as a kid.
i) Barney. Can't ignore a purple T-rex that is actually nice with kids.
ii) Teletubbies. C'mon, they're cute.
iii) Power Rangers. Okay, now I'm really embarassed.

Three people I’m tagging.
i) Priya.
ii) Suwarna.
iii) My sister.

National Disgrace

2008-05-12T04:36:00.003+08:00

The other day I went to the Selangor Registration Department to collect my sister's IC. It was a painless process - take a number, grab the card, leave. Ten minutes at the most.

But it was during those ten minutes that I saw something that drove me up the wall. A sign.

It wasn't actually a sign, just a piece of paper people would usually print a short message on so as to avoid spending a few hundred ringgit on a proper signboard. That's fine. But what really raised my blood level was not the message it conveyed, the gaudy-coloured paper or even the cheap-looking speech bubble shape of the sign. It was how the message was written. I don't remember what it was about, but it started off - bearing in mind we are talking about a message on a sign of a government building in a major city - with this:

"Sekejap aje................."

And then I saw another one at the photo booth reading something like this:

"Semasa ambil gambar boleh duduk diam tak??? Bolehhhh.......hhhhhhhhhh........."

Now, before a Malay starts pointing fingers at me for being racist, I would like to make it clear that I'm fine with people talking like that in everyday life. I even have friends that text to me that way. I may not like that kind of lingo, but if people want to speak the way they want to speak, God has not yet created a creature or force that can stop them.

But this is ridiculous. Putting signs like that in a Malaysian government building is akin to stepping into the Pentagon to find hip-hop language in their signs.

Is this the image we want to portray? That Malay is our national language and even government officials can't use it properly?

We may be way past the age of ties, jackets, tweed hats and meticulously perfect Queen's English, but that doesn't mean we should speak like men in caves in 1325 B.C. At least their language wasn't broken.

Travelling through time

2008-04-28T01:29:00.003+08:00

Chili's for birthday.

2008-04-15T20:29:00.037+08:00

Yeah, chocolate-flavoured snot. Thanks, Pei Hau.

Anyway, last Saturday was my birthday. Now, I didn't want to do anything fancy this year, but then Priya called, saying she wanted an outing. Have to please a friend, no?

So fast forward a few days later, me sitting in a Starbucks outlet at the Gardens at five in the evening...

...with Philbert and his gorgeous new MacBook. I feel outdated already.

Now, being anal and suffering from a severe form of OCD, Philbert is very, very protective about his 'Book. Nevertheless I managed to have a go.

Soon, Starbucks turned into an impromptu studio. I whipped out my tripod and we started shooting, experimenting various techniques. Admittedly, however, they were mostly rubbish.

Eventually we got bored of taking pictures. So we went back to the Boulevard. And took some more pictures.

While I was busy taking pictures, Philbert caught a glimpse of Priya. So we decided to surprise her with our camera flashes. She was clearly not happy.

After a bit of a telling off, we were ushered into Chili's to meet up with the rest - Asmath, Beth, Brigette, Pei Hau, Choo Xiang, Suwarna, Amelia, Michelle and Ayesha.

The food was fantastic. Nachos for the appetiser, chicken quesadilla for the main course...

... and guess what we had for dessert.

Yup. A giganormous piece of Secret Recipe chocolatey goodness, brought out by some waiters singing "Happy Birthday". Which turned out to be kinda funny, because minutes later they carried another birthday cake to a girl sitting on the opposite table. Okay...

Needless to say, not a lot of the cake ended up in my mouth. Ayesha smothered my face with chocolate and, just as I've washed my face and was about to tuck in, Pei Hau did the inevitable.

Oh, and if you were looking for any photos of that particular moment, tough luck. Camera was with me. Sorry.

Cakeface shenanigans aside, the rest of the evening turned out to be rather enjoyable. Chit-chatting, gossiping and much joking. Most of them aimed at Priya.

After a while the bill came. And what a bill it was. We somehow managed to sink ourselves into a RM250 hole. Luckily, there were eleven of us (Choo Xiang left early), so it was considerably easier to swallow.

Just before we left, a woman came up to us. Uh oh. We thought we were in trouble. That we've made so much noise that we were going to be given the single biggest telling off in the history of mankind.

And you know what she said?

"This is what Malaysia should be. I love watching you guys. Remember that, after 20 years, we are still Malaysians."

What a nice lady.

P.S. Thanks Priya. Without you I wouldn't have that much fun on my birthday.

Smile!

2008-03-22T23:55:00.006+08:00

Yes, I finally broke down and replaced my old, broken Casio camera. And given that I wanted to take up photography as a hobby and since everyone left, right and centre seems to be going for a DSLR, I might as well get one myself.

But while everyone else has bought either a Canon or a Nikon, I went for the left field choice. That camera I'm holding in that picture above is a Sony α200.

Why? Value for money. A Canon EOS 400D with an 18-55mm lens currently goes at around RM2,499 (Philbert got his for somewhere in the region of RM2,800). The Sony - even with a slightly better-specced lens - is yours for RM1,999. Toss another 500 quid at your dealer and you can even get an additional telephoto lens.

So, two lenses for the price of one. Handy, eh?

Thank God it's...um...Monday?

2008-03-16T00:26:00.002+08:00

So this is it. The white-knuckled, heart-in-mouth ride through Form Five has finally (officially) come to the end.

No doubt many of the Form Fivers have been waiting in anticipation for the simultaneous release (well, we got ours a bit late, but that's beside the point) of the slips of paper that would determine the future of every 17- and 18-year-old in the country.

Me? I didn't give two grains of rice about it. Somehow I just didn't feel the slightest bit anxious about taking my SPM results. Then again, I'm not getting something like a MacBook if I got straight A's.

Then came the 12th of March. Suddenly I was in the shoes of everyone else. Thoughts were swarming around my head about failing my Additional Mathematics yet again and getting screwed over and over by every single relative and teacher I've ever known. But it was too late to do anything about it, because Pn. Chang was already sitting there with the results slips. I therefore gulped, took a deep breath and went straight to her.

Not a 9G in sight. Good. First goal checked.

A 3B in Malay. Phew, thank goodness i didn't flunk this. I thought I'd do much better than last time since I actually finished the essay, but this was way beyond my expectations.

A 1A in English. As expected. Plus a GCE O-Level 1A. Added bonus.

A 3B in Moral. hated the subject in the first place, so couldn't be arsed.

A 4B in...wait a minute, a B in History? How the fuck did I pull that out of the bag? Not when I skipped questions and bullshitted the rest. No fucking way.

From there on forth it just got better.

A 3B in Mathematics. Could've done better, but I still can't complain.

A 3B in English Literature. Brilliant. Very, very pleased.

A 1A in Physics. Finally. A result I've waited ages to get.

3B's for Chemistry and Biology. In this company, deeply average. But there's nothing wrong with it.

And then came the show-stopper.

A 4B for Additional Mathematics.

I almost fainted. Then I compared my grade with others, and I almost cried.

But as always, there's something to spoil the party. I arrived at school expecting a 1A in EST to be in the bag. I got a 2A.

What. The. Fuck.

Alright, I'm being melodramatic. But come on, that paper was shit easy, so getting something slightly off-target when everything else was so gloriously above my expectations is a pretty big anti-climax.

That aside though, I'm extremely happy with my results. And this wouldn't have been possible without the help of everyone who guided me for the past two years. So I would like to thank my teachers - whether school or tuition - and my parents who had the patience to sit through my absolutely lackadaisical attitude towards studying and got to me and woke me up when I needed it the most.

Oh, and one more thing. Those who aren't happy with their results, cheer up. It's not the end of the world. And even if it is, there's always next year.

Who's in Padang Rengas?

2008-03-08T23:33:00.003+08:00

To be frank, I'm not following the elections as religiously as some others. However, there is one seat I'm interested in. No, it's not Seputeh, where I live (yeah, I know, Teresa Kok won, whopee). Nor is it Bukit Gasing, where my parents vote.

It's Padang Rengas. Home of that racist, blind, deaf, fat, shit-mouthed bufoon, Nazri Aziz. Who the fuck decided to vote for him in the first place?

I don't care if the Opposition sweeps the whole of Malaysia. If Alias Zenon (cool name, by the way) fails to topple over that bald pig-face, that's it. ~~I'm migrating~~ I've lost hope in Malaysia.

EDIT: Alas, the incumbent remains. Enjoy your rights to scream "bodoh" in the Parliament while you still can, Nazi Aziz. There's always next time.

Oh.

2008-02-23T20:41:00.003+08:00

Now that I finally know what's a memetag, I feel so dumb. Sorry Amelia, should've done it ages ago. Ah well, better late than never.

Five things I found in my bag (if I had one)
1) Wallet. Who doesn't?
2) PSP. Boredom relief.
3) Cheap-ass rudimentary mobile phone.
4) Work pass.
5) Camera (if and when I get one)

Five things I found in my wallet
1) Money, obviously. Not a lot, though.
2) ATM card, now that I work.
3) MyKad. If I ever got into trouble, this will stop me from getting into even bigger trouble.
4) Machines membership card. Not that I've bought anything there since I got my Mac.
5) Student card. For movie ticket discounts (I'm still 17, you know).

Five favourite things in my room
1) Mac. Has to take the number one spot.
2) Creative speakers. Use them for the computer and the PSP.
3) Sketchpad. Explanatory if you know me.
4) Stationary. Goes with the sketchpad.
5) Bed. Ahh...

Five things I've always wanted to do
1) Drive a car. Bet you didn't expect that, eh? Eh?
2) Make it as a designer.
3) Be on the set of Top Gear.
4) Have a really, really nice house. And a really, really nice car.
5) Visit Italy. Clichéd, I know.

Five things I'm currently into
1) Top Gear. Yeah, yeah, season's over and all, but what the hell.
2) House (the TV series, not the music genre)
3) Computer graphics. That's why I semi-regularly change the layout of this blog.
4) Photography (I so need that SLR)
5) Cars. Sorry, had to.

Five people I'm gonna tag
1) Philbert
2) Pei Hau
3) Priya (it's time you started blogging again)
4) My sister
5) Um...

That's all, I guess.

Long overdue update.

2008-02-10T19:57:00.000+08:00

I know, I know, I've sorta abandoned blogging for a while. Work, fatigue and general lack of topics meant that this blog has been deprived of some TLC. But never mind, I'm here to show people that I am NOT dead or consumed by cashiering, and since there's really nothing else to blog about, might as well post something about work.

First things first, the working hours. And I'll be honest this time round - it sucks (no, Pei Hau, I haven't been forced to work overtime). Unlike Philbert, who has an office job and can therefore leave his workplace at six-ish, I'm stuck in a shopping mall. And unless you've never been, seen, or heard of a shopping mall, you'd know that it is customary for a shopping mall to be open by ten in the morning and to remain open until it is ten at night. But that's not all. You see, only the store closes at ten at night. The counter closes when it has dealt with all the customers. If you're stuck at a particularly busy section, like the Gents, you'll be lucky to see off the last customer by 10:15.

Of course, by that time you'd expect me to just hand in the money to my boss and leave, right? Wrong. For some reason, we are forced to count our money before handing it in. And as you've probably known, I'm not very good at maths. Fortunately, there will be other people on hand to assist you if necessary, so you'd usually be done counting no later than 10:35. Then the chief cashiers would count the money (again) and compare the total against the readings from your point-of-sale (POS) machine. You can choose to leave right after you've finished counting, or you can stay back and learn whether you've balanced or made an error. If you're willing to let yourself be hurled abuse about the errors you made while cashiering you'll only be able to return home at 10.45.

And by the way, on selected days (the period before Chinese New Year, for example), the store will extend business hours until 11:00 p.m. Go figure.

Then you get to the cashiering itself. Which, depending on where you go, varies from being overly boring to excessively tiring. The latter, especially, makes you more susceptible to errors (I've had to void nine sales once because I was so tired). But most of the people I work with are very kind and are willing to help me out of any difficult spot I manage to steer into. Never thought I'd say this but it actually makes cashiering almost enjoyable.

The pay, on the other hand, isn't. Philbert says he's being paid peanuts because his nine-to-five job pays him just RM800, but I say bollocks - my ten-to-ten (sometimes eleven) job pays me a measly RM600. As though that was bad enough, I have to pay some of it to the EPF. Thankfully, my pay also includes commission for the amount of sales. Unfortunately, though, I get just a piffling 60 sen for every RM1,000. Then again, I've seen people raking in over RM60k worth of sales a day (though I'm struggling to get past 25 grand). Also, if I buy something from Parkson (any Parkson will do, even Pavillion), 20% of the sale will be refunded back to me at the end of the month. It's a nice incentive for employees, although admittedly there is a limit of RM60 per month.

Like I said earlier, my colleagues are mostly very nice people (with the exception of that dastardly Kak Nora, who picks on the new cashiers - she put me in the almost deserted ground floor for three consecutive days!). Many thanks especially to Madam Yong, for teaching me the many intricacies of cashiering.

To sum it up, cashiering at Parkson OUG is a mixed bag. On one hand it can be very tiring and I'm not exactly well paid. On the other, the people there are some of the nicest people you'll ever meet. Plus, nothing comes close to the experience of meeting and dealing with several different people. And you know what? I actually like it.

Oh, and in case you didn't realise, I haven't got the time to put up CNY decorations on this blog. So (yes, I'm late) I'd like to make it up by wishing everyone a Happy Chinese New Year.

2008-01-11T22:43:00.000+08:00

Have you seen that stupid new Osim ad? The one with that idiotic chair that swings from side to side (like your rotating armchair, only that this is restricted to small movements). With that annoying woman singing some shit about hai hai and bai bai.

I was stationed at a counter facing the Osim booth yesterday and they played it for fifty times before the fucking sales assistant shut the damn thing off.

The blog works again. Tee hee.

2008-01-08T11:30:00.000+08:00

Come one, come all! The blog doesn't redirect anymore! Wheee!

Okay, I have to stop.

Anyway, today's a big day for me today. I've got a job.

Yes, I'm now a cashier at Parksons at Plaza OUG. It's a small job, really - work four days a week in a small-ish departmental store and get paid RM600 per month (I think that's what she said - MUST ASK TOMORROW).

However, there's one small problem - the working hours. I have to get there by 9:30 a.m. and can only get home at 10.30 p.m. And even then, that's if I'm able to count money quickly enough.

All in all though, it's my first job and would probably be a great experience. And like my mum said, if it doesn't kill me (unlikely, I must admit), it'll make me stronger.

So if anyone wants to come visit me, please do.

Although if you are planning to buy things and find me sitting at the counter, you should probably abandon ship.

Samad Prom '07 - Le' Enchante

2007-12-15T21:36:00.000+08:00

I know this is nitpicking, but before I start this post I'd like to point out the mistake of the organisers of naming the prom "Le' Enchante", Now I'm sorry, but why does the "Le" have an apostrophe after it? Adding one doesn't make it any more French. I apologise. I'm anal.

Now that the ranting is done and dusted (you can open your eyes now), let me divert your attention to the single most hyped event of the year. And yes, before you write about it all over the comments page, I'm late. I needed the photos from Pei Hau.

As you'd all probably know, two days ago, a few of the outgoing Form 5 students of SMKSAS organised the Samad Prom of 2007. This is the time of the year where schoolmates come in poncy outfits (and the occasional date) to celebrate the freedom (and subsequent re-admittance to yet another educational institution) that SPM affords. However, it has to be said that most of the attendees smartened up and actually came in something half-decent, classy even - a far cry from the green, white and cyan school uniforms we've been accustomed of seeing each other in.

Oh yeah, and a lot of make-up.

Obviously, that meant the prom was a perfect opportunity to snap photos of each other.

However, the camwhoring had to stop somewhere, and soon we were ushered into the room, and we were not so pleasantly surprised by what we saw. Never, in the history of mankind, was a prom held in a room as small as the Westside room on the 8th floor of the Boulevard Hotel. Still, there was room for all of us (barely) and we all sat in our designated places. Except, there were no designated places.

Actually, it was more like the organisers screwed up the seating positions. The tables list were full of errors, including three Keishas (?!).
This minor niggle aside, the prom continued smoothly. The hosts were a bit of an acquired taste, but at least they were vaguely entertaining.

Unfortunately, barely three minutes after we had settled down, we were asked to go out again, because, as it turned out, the meal was a buffet. That said, the food was excellent. Although whoever decided to skewer the prawns with the shells intact should be taken to the back room and shot.

During the meal we were treated to a performance by local rock quadruplet One Buck Short. And frankly, I wasn't fond of it at all. To be fair, at a concert they would've blown everyone's socks off. However, this was a prom - usually the home of slower, more intimate music - and this, compounded by the minuscule room and the organisers' stupid mistake of setting the volume to a ear-splitting 548,343 dB, took the magic away from the band. But credit where it's due - at least they have some mad skills.

Sidenote: One Buck Short are finishing up their inaugural studio album, Halal and Loving it, due to be released early next year.

Then, it was time for the stand-up comedian. Oh God, the stand-up comedian.

It's a formal event, for Pete's sake. Have some class.

He began politely enough, asking us guys about our dates and all. That's where things started to take a turn for the worse.

He started to crack lewd jokes, thinking all of us would get lucky with our dates. Positions, orgasms, the lot.

Almost at that immediate moment, virtually everyone lost their appetites. Even Seng Wai's. And that's saying a lot. We're not in America, you fat, useless kumquat.

Luckily (and mercifully), the show eventually ended, and eating (and socialisation) resumed. Now, at this point, you'd think the worst is over. But no. Because next came this African rapper. Like One Buck Short, the combination of wrong music, small room and ground-shaking volume spoilt the show. That, and the fact that I dislike rap. Proud to be black, indeed.

Later, we were presented with the nominees for the prom awards, which were best-dressed male and female and the prom king and queen. However, these nominees were pre-determined by the organisers and not chosen by the crowd, reducing the entertainment factor. This also explains the kinda lop-sided list of people, which mostly featured the organisers and their friends.

As expected, the nominees for Best-Dressed Male were unveiled first. Of course, to please the crowd, the men had to do stuff requested by the crowd - Razreen half-stripped, Razman did some sort of saucy dance on one of the hosts (startling him in the process) and David Mo had to perform to his date, Jessica (initially supposed to be a song, which was changed to a rap. Eventually they decided on a dance, with David doing a sort of half-arsed slide).

Then it was the girls who had to step out and take the stage - Brigette, Erin and Tanya. Brigette, in particular, had a pretty memorable moment when we dragged Chan Wai up to the stage. They exchange rather heartfelt "I love you"s, to the amusement to the crowd.

Tanya's date, Sashi, on the other hand, had to wear a thong on his head.

After this, voting ensued and the crowd dispersed to socialise once more. That's when an unexpected guest came along.

At the door, with rather dishevelled clothes, stood Philbert Tiki Yong.

Bastard told me he wasn't coming.

So for us, plus Priya, Pei Hau and a few others, it was time for another round of picture-taking.

Oh, and those that won were Razreen (expected) and Erin (expected). As for Prom King and Queen, I didn't pay that much attention (sorry), but I think the winners were Shafiq (expected) and Heather (expected, she's the organising chairperson, after all).

Of course, a prom would never be a prom without a dance and we rushed to the stage. They didn't play slow music (oh, my poor ears...), but it was OK. I especially loved the Bhangra (screw the lightbulbs, people!).

Soon, it was time to end. We exchanged greetings and goodbyes and took even more pictures. Some of the others went to the Laundry Bar to get drunk. Philistines.

Now, at this point you might think I hated prom. That I was bored, miserable and, on top of that, alone. And you're partly wrong - I did somewhat enjoy the prom. No, really, I did.

Thing is, I paid RM100 for the ticket, and at that exorbitant price I wanted to be wowed - it was, after all, supposed to be a special event for all that attended. I was expecting something memorable, marvellous, exquisite even. I was expecting an event worthy or telling my children, for them to tell their children, and so on. Instead, it was merely average. And because of that I felt like I've wasted my money.

Okay, that's a bit harsh. Maybe "not worth the high price" is more like it. But either way, it's not one for the memory lane. And that's sad.

The benefits of 30".

2007-12-15T18:02:00.000+08:00

I just went to Machines today to view my blog on the fantastic Apple 30" Cinema Display. Oh. My. God. I. Need. To. Have. It. In. My. Life. Though at RM6,999, best not even think of it, shall we?

Oh, yeah, here's a picture of me at the shop (yes, I want the iSight as well).

iSigh...

Argh... Not Again...

2007-12-13T12:03:00.000+08:00

EDIT: Sorry for the picture quality - using my stupid "temporary" camera. Can't wait for my Casio to be fixed.

Oh, damn it.

My Apple Remote. I dropped it. For the 50 billionth time.

The scratches are starting to annoy me now.

Hell would freeze over before I'd be able to handle anything this small, light and shiny.

Classic example of Apple's trademark brilliant design and trademark shitty ergonomics.

Of Stripes and Fabrics

2007-12-12T22:49:00.000+08:00

EDIT: HEY AYESHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

I've got my prom clothes!

Yes, the I know I'm a bit slow, but I did actually get my arse off my chair and get some decent pieces of kit. Which is pretty damn good considering I'd rather sit on this chair all day than set a foot out of the house.

Anyway, I got the clothes from Jusco at Mid Valley Megamall. Didn't get off too well though, because my mum chose the wrong time to be thrifty, refusing to spend more than RM500 (trust me, it's HARD) - even though it's a special occasion and I'm asking for one damn set of clothing.

One.

I know we should save money, but not to that degree...

Hell, she even asked me to get those el-cheapo shirts (i.e. RM40) that look dreadful and feel even worse. I was determined not to go anywhere near them, let alone in them.

Thankfully, Padini had some coats that were 50% off (!), which brought the price from RM380+ right down to a much more palatable RM194.50 (!!). That gave me room to get a slightly more pleasing Seed shirt (RM98.10).

As for the slacks, well, they weren't so important, so I just grabbed one from a generic local brand (RM49). Totalled up, they cost RM341.60 - not cheap but a lot less expensive than what could've been.

So, that's it, then. Not too bad for a man (oh, alright, boy) who has all the financial skills of a government official. See you tomorrow.

Funniest. Interview. Ever.

2007-12-11T18:51:00.000+08:00

It's old, I know, but just watch this.

Misfit

2007-12-11T16:20:00.000+08:00

Do I look threatening to you?

I must scare kids. I went to Suwarna's farewell party a few days ago and the first thing the little children wanted to do was to drag me into the pool.

Something tells me my children would grow up wishing they'd been born into foster families instead. *sigh*

P.S. Suey, if you're reading this all the way in Spain, have a nice holiday. We all miss you already *cough**cough*sarcasm*cough**cough*. If you do hook up with some hot guy you met at the beach, do bring him back here so we can interrogate him. And remember, we'd all love some souvenirs, so stock up!

Does happiness really come that cheap?

2007-12-11T12:41:00.000+08:00

Have you seen this before?

This is Happy, a new, el-cheapo prepaid service aimed at those people you used to see in primary school who couldn't afford to buy lunch at the canteen. Like me.

Anyway, it's a sub-brand of DiGi (that's why the stickers that came with my newspaper a few days ago are so similar to the ones for the DiGi Street Party a few weeks back) and apparently lets you talk at RM0.01 per second up to a maximum of RM0.99 per call.

Yes, it's not a typo. You read it correctly. Ninety-nine sen per call.

It also boast of 10 sen per SMS to anyone in any network and any reload stays valid for 60 days. If your mouth is hanging wide open while you're reading this, you're not alone.

This is either a scam or a mega April-Fools-joke-come-late, or DiGi has pulled off a complete blinder. We'll see if this is actually real or not, and if it is, don't be surprised if my number changes to 014 anytime soon.

Practicality or Sportiness?

2007-12-11T05:36:00.000+08:00

WARNING: AUTO CONTENT - CAR-PHOBIC INDIVIDUALS PLEASE LOOK AWAY

The opportunity of spotting an interesting vehicle, though rare, still comes by occasionally. And since my mum is usually the only passenger (or rather, driver - I'm only 16) in the car, I usually bore her with them (sorry).

However, my mum is a fan of Alfa Romeos, and her ultimate object of desire is nothing less than the absolutely beautiful Alfa 147.

So cue the Honda at a stoplight. Behind a blood-red Alfa Romeo 156 Sportwagon (or estate/station wagon, for those of you not in the know). Oh. My. God. It's. Pretty.

"That's a nice car," I remarked, masking the irresistible urge to drool all over.

Mum, however, shrugged.

"I'd never buy that."

I looked at her. Flabbergasted.

"That must be Alfa's company car," she added.

The look of sheer horror on my face immediately turned into one of total cluelessness.

She then explained that nobody should buy an Alfa estate, because Alfas are meant to be sporty and not practical, and anyone who goes out and buys one is a complete clot.

Slowly, I began to see where she was coming from, even though I protested that:

1. It's still sporty (I'm still drooling as I type).

2. Someone who wants an Alfa but needs space would have no choice but to buy, naturally, an Alfa estate. That way he/she could have an Alfa and carry the flat-pack furniture, something anyone with that much dough would doubtlessly buy a lot of.

But then I came to the part of a Porsche SUV (specifically, this lumpen, bulbous, gargantuan piece of utter shit the bods at Stuttgart call a Porsche), and at that moment the few shards of logic there was were shattered.

She actually said a Cayenne was a logical... thing for Porsche to build. A Porsche-badged smog-spewing, gas-guzzling, monster. One that looks like it had been in the middle of a 165-car pile-up and bolted back into shape by a person who can't differentiate his mouth from his arse.

I know people buy more of these than they buy iPods. But the fact remains that an SUV is far less "sporty" than an estate. It's
more space-consuming, drinks a hell of a lot of petrol yet is a million times slower, handles like a barge, spews more good-ol' carbon dioxide than a electrical powerplant, and looks utterly horrible. And it trumps the estate because it's the "in" thing? Gosh.

I know me and my mother disagree on a lot of things, but this takes the cake.

Like Jeremy Clarkson puts it, "It's not a bad car and in many respects it's a very good one, but just as no-alcohol lager defeats the objective, so does a Porsche off-roader. Can you imagine Land Rover producing a rear engined sports car? Exactly".

PlayStation Problem

2007-12-04T21:36:00.000+08:00

This is annoying. My PlayStation 2 refuses to load the game I'd currently like to play, Need for Speed: Pro Street. I've been resetting the damn thing for the 284,565,374,343th time now, and it still wouldn't boot up. Instead, it barfs up the message, "Please insert PlayStation 2 or PlayStation format disc". Or something to that effect.

And you know what's more irritating? I've bought the game yesterday and after inserting the disc it loaded up on the first try.

It's frustration with a capital F.

In truth, this has been a thorn in the side of me for quite a while now, and I've gotten used to it. But the PS2 has apparently got a mind of its own and instead of working for me, it's chosen the absolute best moment to try and irritate me by acting up on me after SPM

And worse still, I can't open it up to clean the supposedly dirty laser. Well, I've popped open the top half, but stopping me from going further are four, microscopic screws. You know those? The ones with Phillips screw drives but are so shallow you can't put a screwdriver end into them? Yeah, those. I've got six precision screwdrivers lying by the side of my table and, yes, you guessed it, the ones that work are precisely...none of them. And it's not like they're screwed in half-heartedly, either - these are not so much screwed in as pummelled in and stamped on until the seal became so tight it could keep tectonic plates together.

At this point I've trying my very, very utmost best to resist a very, very strong urge to kick the PS2. Very, very hard.

Frankly, this unit has been under my custody for seven years now. But surely, Sony, out of all Japanese electronics manufacturers - let alone all electronics manufacturers, period - should make products that can survive an atomic blast. Instead, their products (at least the early PS2s - mine was one of the first) conk out at the first sight of dust. It's not like I didn't take care of it. Hell, I don't even travel with it anymore, since two of my cousins have similar ones (thank economies of scale for that). Which by the way, do work.

And worst of all, almost every single electronic product I own goes kaput after a while - my iPod, camera, etc. Why? Am I some sort of walking magnet for faulty gadgets? Does God hate me that much? Well, only He knows. I can only speculate.

You know what I wanna do now? Write to Sony's CEO a Christmas greeting card.

"I'm bored, irritated, angry, annoyed. Thanks very much, Sony. Merry Christmas."

EDIT 1: Finally got the right screwdriver for the job (RM10.50?!). Cleaned the laser using some alcohol. Slight scare with the ribbon cable connecting the on/off button to the motherboard, but UHU and co. sorted it out.

EDIT 2: That doesn't work either. Fuck it, I'm gonna watch Top Gear.

You know you're done with SPM when...

2007-12-01T20:26:00.000+08:00

1. Your watch/phone/computer/whatever says it is the 26th November/whatever or later.

2. The last question paper you sat for is in your room/dustbin.

3. You're on a holiday.

4. You suddenly have time to blog.

5. You wake up and wonder why it's suddenly so hot. Then you pick up your watch and discover that it is, in fact, 3:00 in the afternoon.

6. Your eyes become bloodshot staring at the computer screen.

7. You spend more time outdoors than indoors. That is, of course, unless you spend everyday sitting in front of the TV/computer/PlayStation. In which you'd be on your knees, begging your parents in a desperate attempt to stay in.

8. After dinner, your mum doesn't ask you to study anymore. Instead, she asks you to clean the dishes.

9. You're suddenly aware of everything that is going on around you, instead of, say, memorising the cellular structure of an amoeba. Hell, it's not even "amoeba" anymore. It's Amoeba sp.

10. You've completely forgotten how to speak Malay.

2007-11-30T19:11:00.000+08:00

It's a joke. Don't take it seriously.

Honey, I shrunk the PlayStation.

2007-11-29T16:01:00.000+08:00

As you might know, the 15GB iPod I had been carrying for a few years has broken down on me for some time and I've been wanting a replacement ever since. However, current prices (I need at least the 8GB nano, and that costs RM829) are pretty steep, and replacing the conked hard drive is a no-no (expensive, replacements are hard to find).

Today, though, I decided I might not need a new iPod after all - the piano black PlayStation Portable my dad has been holding on to underused for a few years now (he has rich friends with benefits) might finally be passed down to me.

Now, at this point you might be thinking I'm overjoyed. And I am, sort of. I mean, which 16-year-old would not want a PSP? But I do have a few reservations:

1. I still don't get a properly large enough storage space. Nice as the PSP is, the 1GB Memory Stick PRO Duo that is in it at the moment is still woefully short of the space I need. There are two reasons why I need large storage space. One is the amount of music I carry, which is as near as makes no difference 2.5GB. And the last time I checked, 2.5GB > 1GB. Also, I've yet to free my mother's computer from the behemoth that is my stuff, as the only thing in my house that has a big enough storage space to store that stuff is my iPod, which, as should be apparent by now if you're reading, is currently a vegetable. Maybe the 8GB Memory Stick Sony sells at the moment could be enough. But that will sting me for RM499. Ouch.

2. At 170x74x23 mm, only the deepest of pockets will be able to accommodate the PSP. Still, if people can carry Nokia Communicators in their pockets...

So, as you can see, there are a few issues regarding the black beauty. Still, with video and WiFi capabilities, maybe life as a PSP owner isn't so bad after all. And of course, it's got what is effectively a PS2 squeezed into its svelte body, so it's no hardship. If only the PS2 I have actually starts working properly...

OMG.

2007-11-26T16:24:00.000+08:00

OMG.
OMG.
OMG.
OMG.
OMG.
OMG.
OMG.
OMG.
OMG.
OMG.
OMG.
OMG.
OMG.
OMG.
OMG.
OMG.
OMG.
OMG.
OMG.
OMG.
OMG.
OMG.
OMG.
OMG.
OMG.
OMG.
OMG.
OMG.
OMG.
OMG.
OMG.
OMG.
OMG.
OMG.
OMG.
OMG.
OMG.
OMG.
OMG.
OMG.
OMG.
OMG.
OMG.
OMG.
OMG.
OMG.
OMG.
OMG.
OMG.
OMG.
OMG.
OMG.
OMG.
OMG.
OMG.
OMG.
OMG.
OMG.
OMG.
OMG.
OMG.
OMG.
OMG.

I'm free. XD

SPM Quickie #02

2007-11-23T16:31:00.000+08:00

In the beginning, there were two years.

The two years became one.

Which in turn became six months.

Then, without warning, there was just one month.

Then one week.

Then one day.

Then it was the day itself.

The day after.

The week after.

And now we're on Friday, the 23rd of November. Just three days till the end of SPM, with only Biology in sight.

Time flies when you take SPM.

SPM Quickie #01

2007-11-14T13:20:00.000+08:00

Never sit for two morning-to-evening papers back-to-back. You'll be dead. Although the rain and heat probably had more to do with it.

At least there has been one major victory.

History, as they say, is history.

I really can't wait for this to be over. But looking at the number of papers I still have to go through, it has to be said that the end still seems so awfully far away.

SPM is coming soon. Very soon. No, really.

2007-11-07T09:29:00.000+08:00

Time really does fly. 10 years of schooling has just flown by. And now, I'm less than a week away from sitting an exam that will change my life.

So this is it, innit?

SPM.

God, it feels so...weird.

It's such a strange feeling, not going to school anymore...

...not seeing my friends in school uniforms anymore...

...no longer having to set my phone to Silent mode while in class anymore...

...the list goes on...

...and on...

...and on...

...and on...okay, I really have to stop it.

I'm already starting to really miss school. I'm sure life after school (at least for the first three months anyway) will be total bliss, but it's pretty sad stepping out of school grounds for the last time.

But hey, at least I get to try out new things. The mind wanders...

Anyway, all this is rubbish. All that matters it this last barrier stopping me from freedom.

It's sorta like a scene in a movie where all the people are preparing for some natural disaster or something.

Well, for those of you sitting for SPM, I wish you all the best - in examination and in life. Hope to see you soon.

[jonjwlee.blogspot.com goes into hibernation mode]

Justice that isn't being served

2007-09-24T19:21:00.000+08:00

The scandal involving a video clip showing a prominent lawyer apparently negotiating the appointment of judges is absolutely ridiculous.

Has corruption in our country become so bad that it's encroaching on our legal system?

Now we're really screwed.

And what's with the Minister in the Prime Minister's Department?

Firstly, whoever who did it isn't going to actually confess to the rest of the world about his misdeeds, innit? Especially if he happens to be a senior judge risking his job, his substantial pay, his reputation and possibly life in prison by doing this. C'mon, I know you're smarter than that. Even if you are a Malay. And fasting.

Secondly, who are you to say that we should not blow this issue out of proportion? Who's at the short end of the stick, you or us? Who are the citizens of the country? Who are the ones paying taxes? Who are the ones whose justice depends on the integrity, fairness and impartiality of the legal system (which, currently, is undoubtedly being abused to give invincibility to some really suspect individuals)? And who's gonna keep the peace and order of the country if not the legal system? You? Datuk Zakaria? Perogol Terung? Who may decide that the best punishment criminals should be sentenced to, actually, is raping them with vegetables.

Indeed, we SHOULD make a big fuss over it. It's such a big issue it makes the word 'big' seem infinitesimal. Whoever says otherwise should be shot.

Don't play with your veggies, kids...

2007-09-22T19:25:00.000+08:00

The sexual assault and murder of eight-year-old Nurin Jazlin Jazimin, so brutally carried out, has shook the nation. Over the past week, mouths have chattered about the high-profile crime commited by the anonymous sadist. The abuse dished onto the poor girl was so perverse, so sickening, reading it in the newspapers alone makes even the most impersonal stomachs churn.

The entire ordeal started a month ago, when Nurin went missing after going to buy hairclips alone. Nothing surfaced until earlier this week, where a bag was deposited in front of a book distribution company. The boss of said company opened the bag and - shock, horror - found a naked, tormented body stuffed in it.

The face was bashed so far beyond recognition that her parents initially refused to accept her as their daughter - as far removed from the bubbly Nurin as you can possibly get.

Still, DNA results don't lie, and the couple finally succumbed to the reality that they will never see their baby alive again.

The body had bruises all over, and there were (this is the most horrid part) a brinjal and a cucumber still stuck in her private parts.

What has the nation come to? Bodies in a fridge, bodies blown up and now bodies crammed into a minuscule bag - have we really become cold-blooded monsters? Have we really gotten so empty of any humane feeling as to leave our assault weapons (modest vegetables, no less) deep in our victims' vaginas and anuses, just waiting to be discovered? Do we really leave the bodies in public, under a security camera in broad daylight in a deliberate attempt to show the world how powerful we are? Clearly then, the world is officially unsafe.

So parents, NEVER leave your kids unattended, and kids, STICK to your parents. And whatever you do, NEVER, EVER TRUST STRANGERS TO YOUR KIDS. Unless that stranger happens to be me.

OK, that was so lame.

And if you happen to read this, you sick pervert, you better not let me see you. Because I would make it my personal mission to hunt you down. And believe me, the whole nation will follow.

The end of the beginning...of the end

2007-09-20T22:07:00.000+08:00

Trials are OVER!

Alright, alright, cut the celebration. We all know that this state of jubilation will be short-lived. SPM is a mere seven weeks away. Seven weeks worth of yet more tests, lengthy lectures and some really, really hardcore studying.

OK, I'm sorry I burst your bubble. But cheer up. At least we can look forward to after SPM. Then we can go bonkers.

Gran Turismo 5 Prologue demo available in October

2007-09-20T15:26:00.000+08:00

To those lucky bastards who have a PS3 (and are racing game addicts), a demo of Gran Turismo 5 Prologue will be available as a free download next month. This will be followed by the full, retail Blu-ray/download versions on the 13th of December.

The game will include several new cars, many of which still under covers - including the new Nissan GT-R (seen in the above screenshot covered in virtual camouflage, natch), as well as the inclusion of Ferraris for the first time in a Gran Turismo game.

And by the way, don't the graphics just kick arse?

[Source: Gran Turismo]

Where's the beef, Pn. Tan?

2007-09-16T08:48:00.000+08:00

Were you caught out by Pn. Tan Su Tiam's "no Maths trial paper for those that went back early"? If you were one of those from 5 A, B or C who were chosen to take the Maths and Bio paper issued by the National Exams Commitee, chances are you were.

For those who aren't in the know (unlikely), here's a run-down: earlier this week, a select few from the aforementioned three classes were chosen to take the paper, which was supposed to end at 12.30pm. Naturally, we thought we could go home at that point, since we were told earlier that we could take the Maths trials (which was being taken by other students at the time) sometime after the trials. Evidently, Pn. Tan had other ideas...

The next day, we returned to school only to discover that she had banned those who went back early from taking Maths Paper 2 (which started after our papers had finished). Obviously, reaction to the news was negative, to say the least...

Never mind the fact that SPM is practically breathing on the back of our necks, here comes this haggard old lady telling us that we were literally stolen of the right to take a trial paper.

What the hell? It was stated on the list of names that the Exams Commitee papers ended at 12.30pm. We were SPECIFICALLY TOLD by our Maths teachers that we could take the trial paper at a later date. We had every right to leave. So where's the beef? Why this?

Punishing students for truenting is one thing. Playing with our trials results is another thing altogether. Just because there's no headmaster/headmistress in administration doesn't give you the right to do that.

P.S.: And just incase you were wondering, no, just because you practically ARE the real-life Professor Umbridge doesn't give you the right, either.

Software madness.

2007-06-24T07:59:00.001+08:00

Got Office 2004, Flash, Dreamweaver AND Photoshop today! Whee!!

2007-06-21T20:38:00.001+08:00

Testing the Blogger widget.

Yeah baby.

I've got my Mac!!!

2007-06-07T20:58:00.000+08:00

*dances until realises the blog doesn't look right on the Mac*

Damn.

Oh, and by the way, this is what it looks like:

7 days...and counting...

2007-06-05T23:06:00.000+08:00

Shit really does happen, doesn't it? I've waited close to a year for my Mac mini, and when I finally got around buying it, guess what?

No stock. For a week.

2007-06-04T03:01:00.000+08:00

I envy my sister's iriver H10.

Now she's the one with a working MP3 player.

Ish.

Attn. Apple: Why do you keep making iPods so flimsy?

2007-06-04T01:39:00.000+08:00

Blast it.

You might have heard of an issue with my iPod's battery not holding its charge as well as it should. You might have also heard that I fixed it (without any help from Apple - yay me!) and it has been working well ever since.

Well, until a few days ago, that is...

On a very lovely Thursday afternoon I left the iPod on while I napped. I woke up to a horrible screeching sound and this little icon:

Which pretty much means my iPod's hard drive is dead.

Why me? Why do I have to shell out as-near-as-dammit RM100 just for a battery and a piece of plastic, only to find out a few months later that I have to spend another only-God-knows-how-much-this-is-gonna-cost-me-oh-no-it's-gonna-f***ing-rip-my-wallet-open for a bloody hard drive?

There is, however, one good thing about this.

I could make a case for a brand-new jet-black video iPod...

...nah. That's just jon-jon's wishful thinking.

What's in my mailbox?

2007-05-29T18:31:00.000+08:00

Look!

*goes off and reads*

2007-05-25T20:19:00.000+08:00

Teacher's day celebration today. Loads of activities and performances. Would've been nice if my "trusty Casio" actually worked...

On a brighter note, this means that the last schooling day before the start of the holidays has officially concluded. Uncork the champagne, people...

Welcome to my new blog.

2007-05-24T23:09:00.000+08:00

Moved to Blogger. More customisable.

Nothing much to post today - exams are over and we're only a day away from the holidays (and with it, total bliss). So that's it. First blog post.